People were milling around, drinking coffee and chatting. When I saw her I was stunned at the perfection, the beauty.
Not glamour. Not cosmetic beauty. Not ornamental beauty.
Solid. Girl next door beauty. Beauty without help.
A group of people surrounded her, mostly men.
I had been “shy” all of my life.
Had to be stoned or drunk to speak right up to a woman. I never knew what to say.? Afraid I would be laughed at, scorned, rejected.
I never gave it a thought; what I would say to her? Not one thought.
Just walked right up. Elbowed my way through this encampment of people. The ones surrounding her. The ones who knew what to say.
I swear, I walked right up to her face, and looked at her. Now we’re both surrounded. I didn’t even know it. I only gazed into her soul.
I had never seen anything so beautiful. Never anything so perfect.
I wanted her to be mine. Forever.
Right there, I knew that.
We looked in each others eyes for some moments. What choice did she have? I was there, in her face.
“Now I know why I’ve been mad at God all of my life.”
That’s what I said without ever one single moment of thinking about what I would say. It just came right out of me. Can you imagine that?
She was a little stunned, but not to much.
I always loved that about her. It was hard to surprise her. She was always right there, right on time. Strong.
“Why?”
“Because, He didn’t give you to me!”
Alena was married, when I met her that night. I didn’t know, and I never thought to ask.
I was overwhelmed with the perfection. I was in love.
That was all of the conversation we had that night.
I didn’t think about what I would do. I knew what had to be done.
That night I wrote a step by step plan that would convince her, woo her, caress her; one step at the time.
A plan to coerce her into loving me.
I didn’t know anything about her, only that she was somehow mine.
I never had a doubt, or a thought, about whether she would love me or not.
I had never loved anyone before that moment. Anyone.